Making ends meet

Until June of this year, my transcription business was my sole source of income.  At that point, business had slown and my largest client had decided to send her work out of the country to India.  Now, I know I can grow the business again but in the meantime, I needed to make sure I had at least a steady source of income to pay the bills as I had no savings whatsoever.  I started working at a coffee shop 2nd shift full-time making minimum wage.  Of course, this is not ideal.  Prior to my business I worked as a paralegal, and I know I could make more money if I was willing to travel downtown to work, but with my daughter's diabetes and my son being bipolar, I just don't feel okay being so far away from them all day because if something went wrong or a problem arised it would be an hour minium before I could get to them.  Where I'm working now I can be there in five minutes.

Working second shift also allows me to continue to run my business during normal business hours of 9 to 5 or close to that.  I have to tell you though that I am extremly tired of working all the time.  It seems that even though I am working more, I am making less and therefore instead of moving forward I am going backwards.  My husband and I are separated and had lived separately for almost a year.  However, last month, since he was spending a lot of time at my house to watch the kids at night while I worked, we decided that he would rent out the two rooms I had in the basement.  It has a separate entrance and he has set up a bedroom and a livingroom.  He does get access to the kitchen and upstairs area but pretty much stays downstairs.  I cook for the kids and make enough for him.  He in return pays half the rent and household bills.  This has helped a bunch but it still seems I can't get ahead.

Right now, I'm looking for maybe a part-time job in a law firm.  I think if I were to work 20 hours or so in a law-firm even if I was forced to go downtown, I would make twice as much money as I am making now working half the amount of hours and still have the needed time to grow my business.  I don't know if I'll find something but I do know that I can't go on how I'm going now.

I hate all the time I am away from the kids.  When I am home, I'm exhausted and trying to sleep or just so cranky from dealing with customers that I am not any fun to be around.  The kids behavior has changed so much since I'm not home when they get home from school. 

I don't know what I will ultimately end up doing, I guess I was just sort of thinking outloud about where things are now...